questioning laundry
June 25, 2002, 3:19 pm
so im doin my laundry 2day...and while the washers goin im hand washin this other shirt in the bathroom. i look up...and i c myself in the mirror. and then i think 2 myself...is this where im gonna b in 15 years? doin laundry...by myself? i sure as hell hope not. i dont want 2 b lonely...and i dont wanna b doin laundry. i mean yeah i wanna b a mom and do the mom things...like laundry...but i dont wanna do it all the time...and i dont want 2 b alone. i no i have so much time 2 find sum1...so many more years ahead of me. but i cant help but thinkin...is this as good as its gonna get? its a depressing thought...but its realistic and truthful. agh! where is my guy?! mayb fates workin behind my back...ah mayb theres sum guy that reads this diary all the time...and mayb ill get lucky and hell fall in luv w/ me...and yeah itll b happily ever after. ugh this is pathetic...my latest romantic fantasy revolves around the internet. agh! but that seems 2 b the only place i can truly b myself...and mayb sumbody sumwhere dusnt hate me 4 being me. r u out there mr. right? where r u? talk 2 me! lol yeah well um. i feel very pathetic as of now. but dude seriously. i want sum1. i mean i can b happy w/ out sum1...but last week proved that im so much more happy w/ sum1. happiness isnt a regular occurence 4 me...rite tony? ugh ok so mr. right...come and get me!!! lol take me away from this shit hole of a life. it really is bad. i live in like a hell hole...and it gets deeper and deeper everyday. ugh. im tired of these damn 'teen' years. i wanna move on. i hate being confused. i want sumthin real...i want sumthin settled...sumthin true. no more of this confusion. fate...where is my guy???...i luv that movie serendipity. but fate hates me 2 much 2 allow me 2 put my trust in sumthin like that. sumbody lead me in the rite direction...@ least gimme a hint as 2 who my guy is.
o yeah...nebody c ne templates that they think mite fit me and my 'diary style'? ok yeah well email me ne good 1s please! [email protected]. thanx a bunch guys. i hope u enjoyed my ranting and raving. back 2 my laundry.
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