life is shit...i wish all this would just go away...my teachers are bitches
Wednesday, Sept. 04, 2002, 8:42 pm
agh. 2day sucked ass. like its the worse of all my bad days.
um. it wus alrite until i got 2 english...4th period. agh. i didnt do my english sentences cuz shes been absent the past 2 days and we had no instructions and she hadnt taught us wut participles were. so i explained this 2 her and shes like "well obvioiusly the rest of the class was SMART enough 2 figure out not 2 include participles in the sentences" blah blah blah. i gave her this look like uve got 2 b fuckin w/ me. i mean the fact that she singled me out...practically callin me stupid 2 my face wus just totally uncalled 4. i couldve slapped her. but i didnt back down...i just raised my eyebrow lookin @ her like ur jokin rite. agh if she messes w/ me again like that im walkin out of her class. me and her are not gonna get along this year. crazy bitch. and her husbands ill...and hes in the hospital...and i understand shes upset and tired and blah blah blah...but if everythings so bad 4 her rite now...y dusnt she just stay home and get a sub who nos wut theyr talkin about 4 goodness sakes. crazy! but yes i do pray 4 her sick husband...i believe he has cancer...i hope the lord heals him.
then i get 2 6th period and mr. sampson decides 2 express factor label by using the example "how many hearts dus sarah break in a week?" it wus funny @ first...until the whole class period we were talkin bout wut a cold hearted bitch i wus and how mean i am and blah blah blah. and i no im a bitch. and im workin on it...sarcasm just comes naturally unfortunately...but ugh he didnt have 2 exploit me like that. and after 4th and the whole day bein shitty i didnt have the emotional strength 2 argue. by the end of the period i wus about 2 cry.
homecoming is annoyin me. i wanna go so bad. i really do. and i would like 2 stay. but i dont even no if jons interested in goin...and if hes not then theres not point in me stayin here if im not gonna go. i no everybody says homecomings gay and a waste of time. but i wanna experience and hate it all on my own. and i wanna get dressed up. i wanna have 2 worry bout wut im wearin...who were goin w/...where were gonna eat...wut were doin afterwards. 4 once i want those problems. i wanna experience it. but i dont wanna make jon go if he dont wanna go...and if he dont wanna go then theres no point in stayin here and not goin 2 ohio...cuz ill end up only goin 2 after partys if i stay. agh.
adams gonna ask kerri 2 homecoming. and i dunno if shes gonna say yes. i want her 2 say yes 4 her sake...but i want her 2 say no 4 kristins. i wish things werent like this. but we cant help how ppl feel. its sumthin u cant control. i dunno wut 2 tell nebody. and i want everybody 2 b happy. i mean really...is it so hard 4 everything 2 just fall in2 place...every1 b happy? i guess so.
if God brings you to it...He will bring u through. ah just wut i needed...very uplifting. thanx austin 4 sendin me that.
i worry about mei lee. and i no me and her arent really close. and i dunno if she even wants 2 get close 2 me and b better friends w. me...but i no wut shes goin through. and its hard. and i would like 2 talk 2 her...if it would help her...but i cant make her...i dont want her 2 talk 2 me if she dont wanna. if u ever need me mei lee...ill b here.
i wish i wasnt such a bitch 2 ppl. my bitchy sarcasm is really gettin outta hand...i dont wanna make ppl feel like shit nemore. i wanna stop using bitchiness as a defence mechanism. agh Lord give me strength.
i thank God 4 my friends...everbody. i wouldnt survive w/ out u guys. kerri and kristin...thanx 4 always bein there 4 me...and im always here 4 u guys. jon...thanx 4 believin and me and likin me 4 me...its the most sum1 could ever do. adam...u keep bein that great guy u r...ur an awesum friend and im glad ive got u 2 talk 2. haha i talked 2 ur luv-er! muahah. gracie and missy...although i dont get 2 c u guys everyday...ur still there 4 me...and i luv yall 4 that...im always here 4 u 2...no matter wut. allan...i luv ya so much buddy...ur the brother i never had...and i hope u get out of w.e slump ur in...i dont like seein u like this...and if u ever need me...im here. day or nite. rain or shine. call me @ 3:30 in the mornin if u just need sum1s voice 2 pull u through...just 2 shoot the breeze...or 2 cry ur eyes out. that goes 4 all of u folks. i luv all my buddies...even if ur not named here...u no the above applies 2 u...my phones always on...im always here.
kerris callin stuart and takin a stand. good luck kerri. shes gonna b forceful...and not back down...and thats good. its been a long time comin.
lata everyone...thanx 4 everything...lol readers sign the guestbook!!! woo hoo!!!
Lyrics from Savage Garden's Crash and Burn and are copyrighted to Savage Garden