why?
Wednesday, Dec. 17, 2003, 11:25 pm
i dont know whats wrong with me.
i was driving home from matt bryans tonight after we took the pic for mrs. moores gift...and i just started crying.
and i have no idea why.
jeremy came over and i just laid on him and cried. and he asked what was wrong but i had nothing to say...i have no reason for feeling the way i feel.
and i hate it.
i tried to justify it...i tried to put a reason behind it...but it still feels like somethings missing.
god i hate this. after last year i promised myself i wouldnt get like this...i swore to myself this wouldnt happen.
but i think its happening anyway.
and i the cause is invisible...which makes it so much harder to get rid of.
i think its cause im just gettin sick of puttin forth so much effort all the time to try and satisfy myself...and it never works. nothing i do pays off...all of my hard work is just washed away by another dilemma. nothing i do is recognized...i remain to be a huge dissapointment.
i dont understand this. @ all.
everything is so...tangled in my mind. everything is intertwined and so hard to understand.
WHAT IS THIS?!?!? some one please explain it to me.
and its one of those things ud love to talk about to get it all off ur chest and figured out...but because i have no idea whats going on...i wouldnt have anything to say.
this sucks.
but yet even though i feel this way...theres still so much great stuff around me and i can still find ways to be happy. thats why im so confused.
im so sick of none of my hard work not paying off though. when is enough enough? id love to just give up...stop trying...just...stop...but i never could. never.
there are some things in this world i definitely dont understand @ all. but ill just keep that to myself for now.
today was an awesome day...so why the tears?
i have no idea.
Lyrics from Savage Garden's Crash and Burn and are copyrighted to Savage Garden