whats meant to be will be
Sunday, Jan. 11, 2004, 9:28 pm
so it really is over.
its one of those things that you never ever dreamed of happening...never wanted it to happen.
but it came anways.
and theres no stopping it...because you cant control your feelings. its impossible to control the way u feel.
i sit and think and try to figure out what wrong.
and i hate that nothing went wrong.
except for me.
this ones gonna be really hard to get over.
once i can make myself do it...ill make my jeremy box. ill put everything in it...all of us. and then itll get stashed away for awhile...until im ready. and then ill pull it out and ill be able to smile without crying when i remember all of the good times.
lauryn said that she really thought we were the 'real thing'...that everyone did. well i did too...i wish it was.
but i cant control the way i feel.
and it just didnt feel right anymore.
and no one may understand that...but its right for me. and thats really all i can justify it with.
hopefully someday we can be friends again...without hurt and pain...just friends.
@ least i hope so.
i hate that this happened. i really do. and i hate hurting him like this. ive been hurt like this before...and i would never ever wish it upon anyone ever.
but i had to be true to myself...and true to him.
i wish there was some other way.
but theres not.
i just hope he doesnt hurt too much. but i know theres no way i can take it away. and i hate that as well.
*even though i know
i dont want to know
yeah i guess i know
i just hate how it sounds*
time is the greatest healer. theres no way around the pain. theres no other way as much as i wish there was...
so now its acceptance and moving on.
im sorry jeremy. i hope someday you understand.
its completely unfair of me to ever ask anything of him...even understanding...i just really hope that he doesnt resent me.
but of course im not in a place to ask that of him.
time will heal this.
i wish i could fast forward life so the healing could be here like...tomorrow.
that would be nice.
but not realistic.
someday we'll know why this happened...y it came to an end.
and that day we'll appreciate everything that we were and everything it made us to be.
i hafta hold strong in that...no matter how hard it is.
*i know you're gonna fall in love again
im sorry this is how it has to end*
Lyrics from Savage Garden's Crash and Burn and are copyrighted to Savage Garden