ah! wuts 2day...?...thursday?
Thursday, Jan. 16, 2003, 7:52 pm
ah! jessa started a diary. lol yay...i encouraged sum1. i havent gotten on my soap-box about my diary w/ her...lol hopefully shell get 2 avoid that. lol but newayz...yay 4 jessa!!!
um de dum. lets c...yesterday i skipped choir practice cuz i didnt really feel like going. blah. lol i luv choir...but agh!...stayin after skool 4 nething sux majorly. so yeah um de dum i came home and mason came by so we just chilled and such. listened 2 john mellencamp...lol good man. yeah so we just hung out @ my house til about 5:20 and then she was courteous enough 2 take me 2 24 hour fitness. i really luv my emperess. she's always got @ the most part a cheery disposition...even though shes got more shit 2 deal with than alot of ppl i no. shes a strong girl...and shes always there 4 me. thanx babe...im always here 4 u 2...remember that...and whenever u feel like talkin or bitchin...lol i dont mind listenin. but yeah thanx honey. newho. so i worked out 4 and hour and 45 minutes. it wus great. i feel so good after i exercise...its the best adrenaline rush. and this pain ive got now...lol yeah i really hurt...in the end i no its good...i did sumthin beneficial 4 my body...lol i didnt like fall down the stairs...again...or nething. lol yeah...u no wut i mean. its a fulfilling pain...so yes. if i keep up w/ this...i will hopefully b back in shape by spring break. thats nice 2 think about.
unfortunately though...after i work out...like a few hours after or the next day...i always get a lil depressed. and i dunno y. just all these negative thoughts will start 2 creep up on me...and i dont like that. i dont wanna go back 2 that place. it wusnt fun...i like being happy. ah. im not gonna think about it. hopefully its just a stupid lil phase or sumthin. im not gonna let the lil things get 2 me...i havent for awhile...and im happier that way. so no lil things...it aint no thing.
who is mike jones? who?...mike jones. haha rodney...who IS mike jones?
ah. lunch and advisory now...not really fun. it sux actually. i miss lunch from last semester. it wus so much fun. i used 2 b such good friends w/ mike and nick...but i barely even talk 2 nick nemore...and mike and i talk just every so often. but ah...ill go 2 the table...no where 2 sit of course cuz my seat got jacked a long time ago...and ah...im like...ignored...and i dont have nething 2 add 2 ne of the conversations or nething. and i hate it. i its the same in advisory. i dunno. ive never had a problem w/ mei lee...but its evident that shes had a problem w/ me 4 awhile...and now that shes in my lunch and advisory...it makes things so much more difficult. cuz mei lee is a great person...and shes friends w. all of them so i mean its understood that theyr gonna wanna talk 2 her. but now its like...all of the conversations and such revolve around her...shes always actively involved...and cuz she is...im not. like the other day she wus inviting every1 around me 2 play football afterskool...and i no she dont like me so of course i didnt expect her 2 invite me or nething...but ah it still made me feel like shit. so...excluded from everything and everyone. and the only 1 of them whos really made an effort 2 talk 2 me...like really talk 2 me is mike. and conway always makes an effort 2 say hey 2 me 2...always like gives me a hug and wut not. thats kool...i appreciate that. i guess it just shows who my real friends are...who actually cares. but ah...no1 else gives a shit. and when u think about it...its just like damn...wuts so wrong w/ me that so many ppl despise me so much or dont give a shit? ya no. blah. o well...lol the whole not goin 2 lunch thing and not eating is good 4 my new method of eating neway. better eating...that is. lol my plan isnt to not eat...lol just not as much and everything. blah. i also get 2 go 2 1st lunch now and chill w/ adam and cenko. lol @ least they enjoy having me there. its fun. cenkos so crazy...adam-u got diaper duty. lol. i fed him! haha yeah so 1st lunch is fun. and i get 2 c peter and thomas and manuel. theyr funny guys.
so the peter thing. i think hes changed his mind...so i guess its time 4 me 2 move on. o well...i guess it wus good while it lasted. i dunno...i still like him...but yeah im pretty damn sure that he dont like me...so o well. hes still a great guy...and i like being friends with him. bla de bla...lol so where do i go from here?
my grandparents...dads parents nun the less...are comin in this weekend. my 3 day weekend!!! im so angry about it. im sorry...but i really cant stand them. theyr just like my dad is...but worse. agh! and its a freakin 3 day weekend...im gonna miss everything. ah!! i wanna cry lol. ah i dont like that @ all.
all these damn dissapointments...and theyr so small...but yet they still upset me so much. yeah ok im pathetic...get over it. they mean sumthin 2 me.
i got an 88 on my math test from yesterday. aint 2 great...if i had fixed 1 thing...i wouldve gotten 8 more ponts!!! 96...but no...an 88. damn...that angers me much.
o0o...but excitement...i got my PSAT back finally...and...(drum roll please)...i got a 1230!!! yay! im very proud of myself i must say. lol that brought a smile 2 my face. eh @ least momentarily. hehe.
lol friends is so funny. i luv this show.
o0o ive got 2 great songs 2 share w/ every1...i put the lyrics in here in entries b4 this 1...so just click on the << arrow @ the bottom of the page...c'mon...u no u want to!
i keep thinkin of sumthin i wanna write in here...but i keep forgettin. lol yeah kool feeling. ok so im gonna go now and if i think of it...ill write lata. i luv u all. dont let the man get ya down. lata.
o0o p.s....a big thank u 2 jessa for signin my guestbook!!! woo hoo! thanks 4 readin honey!
Lyrics from Savage Garden's Crash and Burn and are copyrighted to Savage Garden