chicago
Tuesday, Feb. 11, 2003, 8:57 pm
dont shoot! its just me. yeah i no. i havent updated in a freakin long ass time. i apologize 2 any one that actually takes the time 2 read this worthless shit. i appreciate ur devotion. hopefully this will b substantial.
so my mamas goin out of town thursday and friday. kick ass. im extremely excited. im havin ppl over for an unvaletines day party/JESSICAS BIRTHDAY (note:event marked in all caps shows seniority and major importance). shes gonna b 18. exciting...lol ok well 2 the ppl @ 24 hour...19...but eh shhh. ur gettin old woman...might hafta buy u a fuckin cane soon. muah ha ha...yeah u no im just kiddin. newho. so yeah im havin a lil shindig or wut not. but...and i dunno if this was ppls intentions...my excitement has been dramatically squelched. everyone keeps givin me fuckin lectures and shit and wonderin if 'i can handle this' or wut not. ive done this before...plus i aint doin it alone. im not an idiot. and i understand that every1 has good intentions...and i appreciate...but its like everyone thinks im so freakin naive and incapable of handling this shit. makes me angry. all i wanna do is have a good time. not 2 many ppl...just good ol' fashioned fun. i mean if many other not as intelligent ppl can pull of fuckin huge ass parties (like some idiots @ falls)...y does everyone lack the faith in me 2 create a small gathering of folk 2 drink 2gether in honor of the horrible day? i dunno. it just bothers me. like...im below everyone...and im not able enough 2 handle something like this..."are you sure sarah?" they say it as if im 5. grr. ok enough bitching. thank you all for caring enough 2 lecture me...yeah i dont like it but i no u mean well. i luv ya.
ok newayz.
yeah valentines day sucks major ass. i hate it. every year im dateless/boyfriend-less. not the greatest thing. some day i better get a fuckin awesum valentines day...all sorts of romantic. lol yeah...now i just gotta wait. not the best.
this week @ skool is kickin my ass. ive got all this crap i should do...but i have no incentive nor motivation to do it. and ive got tests up the ass this week...yeah i dont no half the material for any of em. i guess its just not my week. hopefully friday night will change that. unless of course i just call it off all 2gether cuz ppl think im 2 immature or wut not 4 this. bull shit. leahs house went off without a hitch...yeah i did that shit. thanks for the support.
thank god all the pop show shit is over. it went really well mind you...but ah late night practices every freakin day. not the koolest. but yeah its over. now we got contest! lol more practice! dont all jump @ once now.
TEAM BOOB! <--im really starting to enjoy hangin out w/ some of the choir folk. i luv em like family. theyr so much fun. with them im always treated as if i belong...always. they always like having me around. i like that. and i like being around them. it especially beats feeling unwanted like some other times...yeah but newayz. not going there.
i think peter and brandon and travis and kyle and manuel and blake and thomas are comin on friday. thatll b kool. i luv those guys. i just hope every1s not so separated. i hope @ least some1 makes an effort 2 kinda combine the groups...@ least 4 the evening. itd make it alot more fun. not the most social guys in the world...but theyr great...i luv em. and i think jess and kris and adam and every1 would 2 if they just gave em a chance. o well. who knows. mayb im just raising my hopes for no good reason.
i work out everyday after skool. yup. every freakin day...minus friday...thats indulgence day. and a beautiful day that is lol. but i luv workin out. i luv knowing im doin something good 4 my body. and im slimming down what i eat now...im tryin not 2 eat so freakin much of such bad shit. THE RUMORS ARE TRUE! its not so good 4 me lol.
ok yeah i dunno. ive been in a kind of pissy mood lately. and i appreciate mason and adam 4 makin an effort and askin me wuts wrong. i honestly dont no. i think the hole non-faith in me thing concerning friday is getting 2 me. and the fact that im alone on friday. i mean...instead of supporting me and helping me...they keep insisting that i be careful and that i dunno wut im gettin myself in2. and the fact that im alone...yeah well i would assume thats mostly my fault. everything usually is. ok yeah i no...im not in a good mood. im happy...but not. hard 2 explain. confusing i no. its that full unsastisfied feeling. mayb uve never experienced it before. lol lucky you.
i loved chicago! it was great. and im addicted 2 the music. yeah so now im goin...heres part of the 'cell block tango' from chicago...1 of my fave songs. besides all that jazz of course <--classic.
he had it coming
he had it coming
he only had himself to blame
if youd had been there
if youd had seen it
i bet you you wo8uldve done the same
.........
i didnt do it
but if id did it
how could u tell me that i was wrong
its a beautiful song...highly recommended.
ah c'mon babe were gonna paint the town
and all that jazz
im gonna rouge my knees
and pull my stockings down
and all that jazz
...
where the gin is cold
but the pianos hot
its just a noisy hall
where theres a nightly brawl
and all
that
jazz
Lyrics from Savage Garden's Crash and Burn and are copyrighted to Savage Garden