grounded
Thursday, Feb. 20, 2003, 3:45 pm
ah! im so sorry. yeah lemme explain.
ok so i know i havent updated in like years. im so so sorry to any of you still takin the time 2 check up on me. ur greatly appreciated. i love you!
ok so i threw the party on friday. not too shabby. lol jess took her 18 shots...go jess! lol yeah so it was great. i took shots and tons of ppl showed up. all in all...lets see...me, jess, kristin (thanx babe i love you!!!), adam, peter, brandon, blake, thomas, kyle, manuel, lacy, travis, brandon, jeremy, nick, lenny, jon, mei lee, dana, mike, chad, kristin, julianne, ben, blake, and i dont remember who else. sorry if i forgot u. i think (after yakkin it up) i passed out around midnight or so...lol yeah...2 b awoken by my father around 2 o'clock. not the greatest feeling. so im grounded. yup. grounded. i believe my grounding ends march 8th. 3 weeks. pretty good considering all the shit i pulled. lol yeah so thats where ill b folks.
i wasnt really that upset dissapointing my father. because it happens all the time. hes always dissapointed in me and not trusting in me. its like 2nd nature. i expect it...i mean i hate it...but i know its there. but w/ my mama...ive never dissapointed her. never. and i hurt her so much with this. ah for the longest time i couldnt even talk 2 her w/out bursting in2 tears. breaking her trust is the last thing i ever wanted 2 do. o well. i got wut i deserved. but it was fun none the less. but yeah. dissapointing my mama and my 2nd mama (kristins mama) was the worst feeling ever. that was punishment in itself. i never ever want to do that again.
i hope everyone had a great valentines day. or @ least as good as it couldve been. i got flowers!!! lol thanx jess! i luv ya!
im thinkin im movin out of my dads house. yes...permanently. i wish something major would happen...something that would give me a large incentive 2 leave for good and not feel so bad about it. cuz i do. i feel really bad. but living with him is unbearable. completely unbearable. im always angry or upset or annoyed. and i dont like that. i cant be myself in his house. not comfortably at least. so my mamas gonna talk 2 a judge and see what it takes 2 get me moved in2 her house permanently. big step considering ive put up w/ all of this shit for so long. ah.
besides all that. life is good. ive been genuinely happy the past few weeks. and i really like that. lol i probably just jinxed myself...but i hope my happy streak continues. yay 4 happiness.
i really dont no wut else 2 talk about. i mean ive got alot on my mind but i dont really know what to talk about. nothing sticks out as important or wut not. but yeah. so i guess im just checkin in. lettin u know im still alive. lol cuz i am. i luv you all. i might b able 2 sneak in another update soon. lata gatas.
Lyrics from Savage Garden's Crash and Burn and are copyrighted to Savage Garden