i have...i am
Tuesday, Jun. 03, 2003, 10:58 am
so i woke up extra early today. 8. thats really early. then i waited around til 9 for my father to show up so we could go do my pre-op @ the surgery center. fantastic! i sat there unacknowledged while this women talked to my dad about MY medical history and such...shouldnt she talk 2 me? is he me? ppl are dumb. so yeah then we had to go get blood drawn for my stupid asshole doctor. hes not an ass hole for making me go get blook drawn...hes just an ass hole in general. i dont like him.
life may not always go my way, and every once and awhile i might have a bad day. i wish i could be promised that i wont ever be lonely.
i miss seeing everybody. i havent seen anyone really since skool let out. like jessa and emily and sara and lauryn and adrian and cammy and them...i havent seen them @ all. i mean true i havent called them...but they havent called me either. so many guilty parties. i hope the summer gets better.
jeremy scared me last night. he asked me if i was happy...because all he wanted was for me 2 be happy. i thought he knew that im so extremely happy w/ him...always. but it sounded kinda like he wanted me to say no...im not happy. he said he wondered if i thought id be happier w/ some1 else. i dont ever even imagine being w/ any1 else. i hope he doesnt either. i dont think i could take it. @ all. and a part of me fears that there is some1 else for him...some 1 else he might kinda like. but then another part of me says no...thats impossible. damn my insecurities...ah. have you ever been in love? when you're holding heaven in your arms. ever felt like you were dreaming? when you never thought it could. but it really feels that good. have you ever been so in love? when you find it don't let go. have you ever said a prayer? and found that it was answered? im not looking anymore. have you ever been in love? some place that you aint leaving. somewhere you're gonna stay. have you ever been so in love?
have you?! are you now?!
i love you jeremy.
Lyrics from Savage Garden's Crash and Burn and are copyrighted to Savage Garden