chalk 1 up for me
Friday, Jun. 13, 2003, 3:00 am
ive really gotta stop this insomnia crap. i should get some sleep. eh...should being the operative word.
but then again...why sleep? all sleep brings is restless awakenings and dreams of dissapointment. moments of sweat...moments of chills...moments of fright...moments of want...i dont sleep well.
i used to live on nyquil. now that...that was nice. sleeping peacefully for @ least 7 hours straight. never waking up...never dreaming of frightening images or unattainable fantasies. just...a deep sleep. and when i woke up...it actually felt like i was rejuvenated. now that doesnt happen everyday.
i really should go 2 the gym. i mean really should. i need to slim back up. i dont like the 'pudge' ive created for myself. ickgh.
for some reason...its difficult for me to forget and let go of the past. i dont really know why. just 1...insignificant occurence...and im sucked back into the feelings i had @ that time. the animosity or hurt or longing...anything that i felt for people and situations of my past just come rushing back to act as if im living all these memories again...no matter how horrible they were.
why do i allow my emotions to be so...up and down all the time. i can be so incredibly happy...not a care in the world. and then all of a sudden im down again...shooting myself down further every chance i get. i dont understand myself. lol. so...topsy turvy like. id like a nice, stagnant line please. something nice and clean...keep me sane for a while yes?
anonymous: she will never be over him
haha they know their shit...heres a shared opinion for ya...directed to...eh u know who
shut the fuck up. this is the end for you. you can have all the opinions you want...but keep em to urself. no1 gives a shit and hes not urs to repremand anymore
give it up
i still stand and confirm that i am my own worst enemy.
mark down yet another sleepless night.
Lyrics from Savage Garden's Crash and Burn and are copyrighted to Savage Garden