my loss
Monday, Feb. 09, 2004, 4:10 pm
i just wrote a really awesome entry. and then something happened...and it dissapeared. lets see if i can remember...
i wrote alot today. i had a lot of stuff on my mind.
@ least i can *escape* from class.
rollercoaster is all done! and its all turned on. we just run it tomorrow. and then i wash my hands of it.
way too stressful...not even worth it.
everyones gettin mad about something or @ somebody. so...hostile. such unnecessary bull shit drama.
thats y i keep my mouth shut. no need to start trouble.
yes...i know...some things need to be said. but...some things are better left unsaid.
ive been in a pretty good mood lately. and thats nice. just...happy stuff.
i got my correspondence stuff for health today. and i found the textbook i need online for 7.99!!! considering the book costs $43 new...thats pretty damn awesome.
i have work 2night 5 to close :-(. and i work with the nazi bitch stephanie. im not excited. but @ least alex and trang will be there...hopefully that will be fun.
and i get to work w. JULIANNE and alex on thursday. i have dishes :-/...and stephanie will be there :-(...but besides that it will be fun. i love julianne...she makes me so happy. :-)
ive been trying not to think so much. i dont want to dwell.
here are some excerpts from what i wrote today. dont really worry about what it concerns...cause chances are u have no idea lol. just...something that i want to write down. and something u can ponder.
the more i admit what i want the more i jinx it. but its not like there would be any chance anyway. im just...not enough. in any aspect.
and i hate feeling so worthless. i hate allowing myself to degrade myself to nothing when i know im capable of things...but yet i still cant help this feeling of inadequacy...so...inept.
why do i hafta dwell on it? id just rather let it all go. i dont want to be hung up on anything. i wish i could disregard it, too.
my loss.
o well. valentines day weekend is coming up. and its a 3 day weekend. so its gonna be fun. there will be no dwelling on the fact that i yet again do not have a "valentine." just get ready for fun! :-)
almost time for work. eek!
my mamas been freakin out on me lately. and i dont like that. cause i dont what her problem is. its just...all of a sudden...BOOM...theres a big problem.
crazy.
lol sorry kristin for the awkwardness.
la de da. ok i think its time for me 2 go. have a great monday!
Lyrics from Savage Garden's Crash and Burn and are copyrighted to Savage Garden