all alone
Monday, May. 03, 2004, 7:45 am
My Immortal
Evanescence
I'm so tired of being here.
Suppressed by all my childhood fears.
And if you have to leave,
I wish that you would just leave.
Cause your presence still lingers here,
and it won't leave me alone.
These wounds won't seem to heal,
this pain is just too real,
there's just too much that time cannot erase.
When you cried I'd wipe away all of your tears,
When you'd scream I'd fight away all of your fears.
I held your hand through all of these years.
But you still have...
All of me.
You used to captivate me by your resonating mind,
Now I'm bound by the life you left behind.
Your face it haunts my once pleasant dreams
Your voice has chased away all the sanity in me.
These wounds won't seem to heal,
this pain is just too real,
there's just too much that time cannot erase.
When you cried I'd wipe away all of your tears,
When you'd scream I'd fight away all of your fears.
I held your hand through all of these years.
But you still have...
All of me.
I tried so hard to tell myself that you're gone.
But though you're still with me,
I've been alone all along.
When you cried I'd wipe away all of your tears,
When you'd scream I'd fight away all of your fears.
I held your hand through all of these years.
But you still have...
All of me.
its so hard to just sit knowing theres nothing you can do. its just something i must accept. hes the only one stopping himself. he lets himself make excuses and be irresponsible. part of me can believe that he really wants all of those things...that he really wants me. but if you wanted it badly enough...youd let yourself have it.
but yet hes the only one stopping him.
and i guess i know its the end. as much as id like to think he would i know he wont come after me...he wont try to win me back. he says he wants to...but he wont. he thinks its "hopeless" and that no matter what ill do ill "still be mad." yeah well...for a lil while i will. but thats y its called 'winning' me back. its because you did something wrong. so you hafta tough it out even if it seems like its not working...you hafta make it work.
but thats of course if you love the person. if you love them...youd stop @ nothing to keep them.
he stops @ the 1st sign of difficulty. if it seems like its not gonna work...he just gives up instead of continuing to try like he ought to.
you cant expect to break someones heart over and over again and then think that winning them back will be easy.
youve lost all their trust...all their hope...
you hafta create it again.
but it wont. because he wont. and i hate it that i cant do anything. but i cant. its all up to him now.
and he doesnt love me.
so i guess thats y its all up to him. because its a 2 way thing...if 1 persons not in it...the other person cant be in it alone.
but im in it...all alone.
if he wanted this bad enough then it wouldnt have come down to me trying not to completely break down and cry in 1st period.
so now i just hafta accept it.
because hell never come after me.
and you know how you have that small twinge of hope? when you're in love...how a lil bit of hope always lives on?
yeah...im stuck with that. so i hafta convince myself...
hes not coming after me.
im not worth the effort.
i cant stop thinking about it.
Lyrics from Savage Garden's Crash and Burn and are copyrighted to Savage Garden