mayb a 2nd chance will come around...mayb hell let himself b happy
Monday, Sept. 30, 2002, 7:50 pm
yeah. so. jon and i broke up. id like 2 b able 2 say he wus a big waste of my time. but he wasnt. i wus just a waste of his. thats kind of hard 2 accept.
he says he cant do it. he says he still cares about me...and he still likes me...but he cant do it. just cause of the way it used 2 b. things got dramatic...and he cant handle that. it only got dramatic and the problems only came when we werent 2gether...like b4 we were 2gether and then the week we were on a break. which tells me were happy 2gether...were stronger 2gether...things are better when were 2gether. but i guess its not that way 4 him. id like 2 believe that he still cares about me and he still likes me...but its kinda hard 2 believe based on the circumstances. agh it just doesnt make sense 2 me. i thin hes afraid of making a commitment 2 me partly...i think hes afraid of getting serious...i think he dusnt wanna b w/ me like that. i wanted that. i wanted sum1 i knew was gonna b around...through thick and thin. and all the thick is over...all the problems have dissapeared...and the only problem that i c arising ne time soon is bein w/ out him. i wish hed realize that we were happy 2gether. were comfortable with each other. things are good between us. i dont wanna b dramatic nemore...i dont wanna blow things up...so im not gonna. lifes not enjoyable that way. so im not doin that nemore. im not lettin myself worry all the time. thats y i have this damn ulcer. agh. he cant do this cuz he wont let himself...and i dont no totally y. i can think of different reasons...but i have no proof of exactly y. i no hes afraid of gettin hurt...but im not gonna hurt him. i wish hed stop second guessing the future...and just look @ 2day...not 2morrow...not wut problems mite arise 2 months from now. if we dont make the same mistakes...there wont b problems. and itll b good. itll b great. but he cant do it if he doesnt give it a chance. if he tells himself that its not gonna work...then no its not gonna work. he said hes been talkin 2 ppl and they say sumtimes ppl may b perfect 4 each other but if they can never get their acts 2gether its not gonna work. well i think thats bull shit. i think love conquers all...and i think that we do have our act 2gether. we both no wut we want...we both no not 2 make the same mistakes a 2nd time...we both no we can b so happy 2gether. he just wont let himself b happy. yeah or i could b all wrong and he could just not like me nemore @ all and not really give a shit if im around or not. agh. it almost seems that way. but this time im not gonna doubt him...im gonna believe him 4 sum reason...mayb just cuz thats easier...but yeah im gonna believe what he says...im gonna believe that he still cares bout me and still likes me. i really have no substantial reason 2 besides the fact that thats wut he says. agh. i dunno. things seem 2 b fine between us though. like we can joke around w/ each other and have a good time and just have fun...so mayb if things keep up hell realize it can always b like this if he just gives it a chance. and it could b even better than it already is...we could hold each other...we could kiss again...cuz that wus 1 of the greatest feelings in the world. i hope he remembers how that feels. he says he dus. so i guess thats good. agh. im just gonna let it lie...as hard as it may b...im gonna let it ride. and mayb hell come around. im not sayin im gonna wait around 4ever. but im sayin 4 rite now hes want i want...and i believe that were strong enough not 2 let the past things ruin us...and hes who i wanna b w/ rite now. who knows when that will change...but 4 now im givin it a chance...im stickin w/ it. yeah i no im crazy...yeah u may think its a waste of my time. but when u remember how it felt 2 just lay there w/ him holdin u...kissin him on the ride home...hearin him tell u that the last thing he wants u 2 do it get out of the car...and when u lay there 4 @ least 2 hours on end in the dark @ jessicas house just talkin and not wantin 2 b newhere but in each others arms...yeah then ull realize its worth waitin 4...its worth gettin past all of the recent shit...and its worth givin it a second chance. especially if we can b so comfortable w/ each other now after all of this...thats how u no it can work. and thats how i no its worth waitin on...4 now. i mean unless sumthin better comes along...but thats damn near impossible. yeah im crazy...but wut else is new.
when u remember how it felt 2 just lay there w/ him holdin u...kissin him on the ride home...hearin him tell u that the last thing he wants u 2 do it get out of the car...and when u lay there 4 @ least 2 hours on end in the dark @ jessicas house just talkin and not wantin 2 b newhere but in each others arms...yeah then ull realize its worth waitin 4...its worth gettin past all of the recent shit...and its worth givin it a second chance.
Lyrics from Savage Garden's Crash and Burn and are copyrighted to Savage Garden