why can't it be me?
Tuesday, Feb. 24, 2004, 4:19 pm
howdy.
just got back from choir practice. i really cant stand mrs. laird. just...agh. lol and shes not funny.
lol o yeah and it was great that indiana jones joined us for choir practice.
strange people.
anywho. good day. TAKS testing. ickgh. just long. but i used the time. wrote an entire rough draft before i did my final copy for the essay part. never done that before lol. and i hafta say...i like my paper. i did a short story kinda thing. kind of. i dont know exactly what to call it. but i guess because i used a personal experience as the main 'conflict' of the story...it was...easier in a sense to write. o well. lol we never did TAKS writing practices and were never really told what the graders 'look for'...so it was really just write something. but the examples stoner read that got 4's were like what i did i guess. o well. im not worried about failing.
but it does suck when u write something that u really like...that ur really proud of...and then u get a crappy grade. i mean sure u can like it despite the grade u got...but its hard to appreciate it once its been torn apart.
sexual deprivation is gettin to me lol.
i want to kiss someone.
lol so the perceptions diary was a big hit supposedly. it really does make you think. u read it and u just think...wow. i mean...theres no way to really even describe it. maybe thats the fantastic part about it. the link again for those who are missing out lol is...
http://perceptions.diaryland.com
i did some more thinking today. and not just dwelling thinking...although i did that too...but alot of it was progressive. identifying. and thats always worthwhile.
ive declared to myself that this summer will be different. im gonna reach a point where im happy w. the way my body looks. and im gonna shock everyone. and this coming summer and senior year will be a lot better. me announcing it probably jinxes it...yes...but this is just one of those things where a jinx will not win. i will get there.
i was sitting at the light @ west and 6 today going to get gas...and like all curious human beings i glanced from side to side to observe those in the cars next to me. the woman to my left in a suburban was really deep in thought...u could tell there was something going on in her head. and it just makes u think...what is she thinking about? have you ever just tried to put urself inside someone elses head? you wonder what theyr thinking about or what theyr life is like. its so hard not to get wrapped up in ur own little universe where only you and all the people uve ever encountered exist. its so surreal to even grasp that there are over 6 billion people in the world...each with their own individual lives and daily issues.
makes everything seem a bit insignificant.
but i guess its just human nature and...even more so...it just makes sense to be a bit ignorant to all of that and to just focus in on what you experience. it would be a bit hard to consider the lives of 6 billion people everyday...to no acknowledge ur own problems as important just because someone else 'has it worse.'
i hate it when people do that. when uve got a problem...and its important to you...so u talk to someone about it. and they feed u that line..."well you know there are people who have it a lot worse." yeah...ok...i know. but does that change the fact that this event in my life means something to me? just because my problems arent as big...does that make them insignificant? no.
lol i think i just went off on a completely wild tangent. but im not gonna go back and read what i read cause ill probably end up deleting half of it cause it more than likely doesnt make sense.
dont let it confuse u too much. lol just skip over it...
i think im gonna go venture into the perceptions diary for a bit. get caught up w. everyone else lol. (it seems i have fallen behind)
have a great tuesday evening! enjoy gilmore girls and one tree hill!
ah...one more thing. on average...a good 20-something people read my diary daily...and its viewed by those 20-something people an average of 66 times a day. i like the stats thing...its fun.
sorry it messes up the page for u barbara! :-)
Lyrics from Savage Garden's Crash and Burn and are copyrighted to Savage Garden