i want mine
Thursday, Mar. 04, 2004, 8:58 pm
agh! i havent updated all day!
lol jk.
rodney said he got his may concert cd finally.
mine is not here :-(.
today was a good day. lol i gave matt his rice krispie cube...he was thrilled. free jamba juice for me. lol strangely enough a girl in my 1st period asked me to make one for her. lol i was like...um...its more of just a one time thing.
but i did make more rice krispie treats tonight.
just not of a cube shape.
i think im prepared for the physics test tomorrow. not really sure though. i know theres probably gonna be a lot of stuff on there that i didnt think to study. o well.
i dont think i did very well on the history test today either. i hate that. i felt like i knew the stuff. but yeah...lol wasnt really sure of a lot of the answers. o well...hopefully there will be a *nice* curve.
i cant find any literary criticism on my short story. and thats not good. i dont wanna hafta start over. i like my story. i like my thesis. i like where i was goin w. it. i really hope i find something tomorrow.
tonight young life went to go see 'the passion.' im interested in seeing that. maybe ill get to see it w. chris tomorrow. probably not though. but yes im glad that ive mentioned more than once that ive been wanting to join young life since last year...kristin landua and i both...yet still never invited to any young life functions. just not 'cool' enough...'rather not' invite me. lol o well. i talked to jennifer rogers (red head...shes nice) and she said theres a meeting monday. so ill probably go 2 that.
choir practice was not fun 2day. :-/ but its never fun. dumb mrs. laird. lol.
rodney...ur great at the 'ttyl' thing...best ever. lol and i had no idea u read this. so...hi!
la de da. what else about today. i know there was something earlier today that i wanted to make sure i talked about...agh but i dont remember anymore.
supposedly tomorrow night kristin, kerri, and i are going out to dinner. lol thats what ive been told anyway. lol yeah. but that should be fun.
i really wish i could remember what i wanted to write. lol damn.
i would rather you just...dissapear.
lol please.
kliers been better these past few days. of course i say this now and tomorrow shes a raging bitch again...but w.e. i think its because the choir actually likes the music were doing...she likes it. if only we didnt suck...then it would be really beautiful.
its not even spring yet and its already getting to be 80 degrees outside.
what the hell is that about lol?
*did you beat her and choke her and knock her all about? Ah!*
'bonae, bonae'
i really should gain more patience for people.
my mama and i talked alot last night. not like strained...uncomfortable talk. but just easy conversation. i never realized how much she didnt know about me. she said shes finally coming to realize alot of my insecurity/doubt that she never knew existed. and its a big shock to her...and a big deal to her. to me...its normal...ive been this way forever. even though i know its not right and i know i shouldnt belittle myself...its just...second nature by now. habit. but she was really upset about it...really concerned. she said she hates that hes had this effect on me. i hate it too...but wow...she was really upset...pissed kinda. she said that part of her wants me to go 2 counseling...help me. that was a big shocker to me. i dont want to...i have no interest. mostly i think because i can identify whats wrong...and i know what should be done to fix it. but of course...habit doesnt allow u to fully accept a new idea like that. thats y she would want counseling for me.
but thats still...wow...to me. i couldnt even imagine doing that. i dont want to. i want to 'fix' myself. im too...independent...self reliant...self controlled to allow someone else to intervene like that. i dont mean self controlled like discipline...but im really in my head. im really into my thoughts...i completely control me and my thought process. everything.
i dont want to do counseling. i dont want it to become more than it is.
she said i dont see how much it really is...how big of a thing it really is.
maybe i dont. but i like it better that way. i dont want it to become this huge deal...i dont want it to become my excuse.
i dont want an excuse.
thats what i wanted to talk about. lol thats what i wanted to write about all day. i remembered. woo hoo! success. lol now it wont plague me all night.
tomorrow morning i hope to have time to go 2 sonic because all large drinks are only 99 cents before 10 am...and a cherry limeade sounds great for a morning beverage. yum! :-)
things are good. generally positive. lol minus school.
my dads considering getting a dog now that hes working out of the house full time now. thats all the time. agh. and i hate how is working out of the house effects the rest of us. we hafta be solemn and quiet and cant talk 2 him unless hes not busy. but then of course he gets pissed when were not available just cause hes got some free time. he just keeps things so restricted all the time...makes it hard to even breathe easy.
wow ive been updating for 30 minutes now. gee whiz!
lol
my mamas taking vacation days tomorrow and monday and probably tuesday. thats kool. i like having the house to myself when i get home :-/...but she has to use up these days now or they just dissapear. i love her and all...but thats my 'me' time. everyone needs a little 'me' time.
ok. i wanted to be in bed when i started this lol...so g'nite all. hope thursday was good for u.
have a great friday!
Lyrics from Savage Garden's Crash and Burn and are copyrighted to Savage Garden